The Mother's Maybe
The Purpose of Persistent Prayer
Having celebrated over thirty years of marriage, I can finally say that I have learned a couple of things. First, when my wife says that she doesn’t want dessert, what she really means is that she doesn’t want dessert at that exact moment. Instead, after I have carefully eaten 90% of my chocolate-laden delicacy, leaving a final, perfectly balanced bite, she is permitted to lay claim to the rest of my dessert. You can verify this with my children. She has the same power of eminent domain over the last bites of their desserts as well.
Second, I have discovered the true meaning of the “Mother’s Maybe.” Used by mothers across the generations, this seemingly neutral response cleverly provides a child with the subtle hope that “maybe” can be transformed into “yes.” Furthermore, a child knows that the only way for this magical transformation to occur is to not upset the fragile armistice of the “maybe” by bugging, pestering, or otherwise annoying Mom. Kids have this innate sense to know when aggressively pushing the “maybe” will result in a definite “no.” Herein lies the brilliance of the “Mother’s Maybe.” For instance, suppose the kids want to stop for ice cream on their way home from practice, but their mom is intent on driving straight home. By employing the “Mother’s Maybe,” Mom enjoys a peaceful drive home while allowing the kids’ short attention spans to work their magic. “Maybe” quietly becomes “no” due to a lack of interest on the part of the kids in the backseat. (In case you were wondering, there’s a “Wife’s Maybe” as well.)
Sometimes, I wonder if God employs a similar approach. Instead of a clear “no,” does God simply wait for us to stop asking? When met with a prolonged silence, should we assume that the answer is “no” or “not now?” Or, are we not understanding God’s response?
To help us explore this question, I would like for us to turn in a collection of parables found in the Gospel of Luke. We start with the story of a judge who “neither feared God nor had respect for people” (Luke 18:2, NRSV). Now, living in the same city was a widow who repeatedly sought justice from this judge. But being a widow in the first century meant she lacked power or influence. So, on the one hand, we have a judge with the power to interpret justice in whatever capricious manner he sees fit. And on the other hand, we have a widow with few, if any, rights or status. Given the circumstances, it is doubtful that this widow expected to receive justice from such a judge. Yet, Israel was founded upon the principles of justice and righteousness. Furthermore, God’s Law provided special protections for the outcast, the widows, and the impoverished. Those who were so often marginalized by society mattered deeply to God.
But this judge was guided by a different moral compass. What mattered to God did not matter to him. So where was north located on the judge’s moral compass?
“For a while he refused; but later he said to himself, ‘Though I have no fear of God and no respect for anyone, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice, so that she may not wear me out by continually coming.’” ~Luke 18:4–5, NRSV
This judge is not going to help the widow because it is the right thing to do. If this judge does not respect God, then it is highly doubtful that he will respect her. So, why does he decide to give her justice?
“… so that she may not wear me out …”
We assume the judge has grown tired of her persistence. But this is not what “wear me out” means, at least not completely. This Greek phrase means to “strike under the eye.” This powerful judge is worried that this lowly, powerless widow will give him a black eye in the public eye. Not unlike modern politics, polling data can be extremely influential. Even though this judge does not respect individuals, he does care about public perception. Perhaps he is concerned about his legacy. Or maybe he wants to avoid being shamed by his peers. Either way, justice does not motivate the judge; selfishness does.
What is Jesus’ point with this story? Should we see ourselves in the same position as their powerless widow when faced with the power of God? That would make sense. But does that also mean that Jesus is comparing God to the unjust judge in this story? And that simply does not seem to fit. Thankfully, there is another, similar parable found in Luke’s Gospel.
In Luke 11, a man is visited by an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, he does not have any food to offer his guest. While this may seem a mere inconvenience for us, in this period, showing hospitality was a matter of survival. If you were unwilling to offer hospitality to a guest, you were not only a poor host, but you also faced receiving condemnation and shame from the community.
So this man goes to his neighbor to ask for three loaves of bread. Roused from his sleep, the justifiably grumpy neighbor replied,
“Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.” ~Luke 11:7, NRSV
His neighbor’s refusal seems reasonable. Everyone is in bed and, to be honest, he should have been better prepared. But this is not how Jesus ends the story.
I say to you, even if he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, because of the prospect of him being shamed, he will get up and give him as much as he needs. ~Luke 11:8, my translation
So, why does the neighbor help his friend? Not because of their friendship, but because he does not want to be shamed. That does not sound friendly or hospitable. Instead, the cranky neighbor sounds a lot like the unjust judge.
Neither of these stories paints God in a very favorable light. In the first story, God is a self-centered judge who only reacts to preserve his polling data. And, in this story, God would prefer to stay in bed rather than help a friend in need. In both cases, the unjust judge, and the cranky neighbor are shamed into doing what is right. They are more concerned about their public image than actually helping someone in need. Is Jesus really suggesting that we should annoy God until our prayers are answered?
Let’s return to the story of the unjust judge. After sharing the parable with them, Jesus tells those gathered,
Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God grant justice to his chosen ones who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long in helping them? I tell you, he will quickly grant justice to them. ~Luke 18:6-8, NRSV
If a self-absorbed judge will grant justice to protect his legacy and popularity, and a cranky neighbor will finally get out of bed to avoid being shamed, then how much more will God — who actually wants to hear from us — answer? When we ask, seek, and knock, how much more will God listen, respond, and provide? God is the polar opposite of the cranky neighbor and the unjust judge!
So, what is Jesus’ ultimate point in these parables? Look at how Jesus ends this story.
… And yet ...
Despite the fact that God will…
“grant justice to his chosen ones,”
not “delay long in helping,”
and “grant justice quickly” …
… And yet, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
~Luke 18:8, NRSV
Faith and prayer. These are not unrelated concepts. Faith is not a mental assent to a statement of beliefs. Faith is not simply adherence to a tradition. Instead, Jesus is asking if He will find people who are willing to trust God enough to ask the important questions, seek trustworthy answers, and knock on God’s door for help. Prayer is not a ritual, a requirement, or a routine. Prayer is not founded upon the nature of our requests to God, but the necessity of our relationship with God. Prayer should be our first option, not where we turn when faced with a lack of options.
These parables are not about God; they are about us. They are about our willingness to trust God.
If an unjust judge will grant justice out of purely selfish reasons when persistently asked…
If a cranky neighbor will get out of bed to stop a neighbor from persistently knocking…
Then why would we stifle our prayers and distance ourselves from the God who sacrificed His only Son for us? Why would we hide who we really are when God already knows everything about us — and still wants to have a relationship with us? The simple answer is we shouldn’t.
Will Jesus find faith when He returns? I don’t know. But I pray… that He finds it in me.
We hope you will join us for our latest episode of The Trail: Encounters. In Episode 12 we explore the story of Judas Iscariot. Coming soon!
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